It's really too bad that I'm going to have to commit my lovely wife to an insane asylum. Really, through eight years of marriage I thought we were suited for one another and that I had married a caring stable (well, stable as long as she's been fed recently) soulmate.
Alas, it turns out that what a friend of mine told me long ago is true, "You have to look out for the beautiful ones because they're all crazy."
How do I know my wife's trolley has slipped around the bend?
Because when I headed out the door to go to work this morning she said, "Enjoy the beautiful day out there."
Folks, it was minus two degrees Fahrenheit when she said that. I assure you that any judge in America would sign the writ sending her to the Loony Bin.