My Wacky Bachelor Weekend

Hmmn ... that post title sounds rather like the title of a dubious Judd Apatow comedy starring Jack Black, Vince Vaughn, several Wilson and Baldwin Brothers, Madonna, a random member of the cast of the American version of "The Office," Carrie Fisher, and Fritzi the Wonder Mule.

Nonetheless, I feel the documentary pressures of the blog demand a full accounting of what I did with my weekend while Monique was off in Milwaukee:

Saturday

• Slept in
• Ate some cereal on the porch and read the paper
• Checked my fantasy baseball teams
• Walked Katie the Beagle
• Ate a salami sandwich
• Watched some afternoon baseball (White Sox vs. Cubs)
• Read comic books
• Ate some nachos
• Took a nap
• Watched the Tigers play the Astros.
• Posted a bit on a fantasy baseball board
• Sat on the porch and watched the Commerce Lake fireworks
• Fixed the subwoofer on my movie surround sound
• Checked the subwoofer fix by watching the pod-racing scene of Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
• Got sucked in and watched most of Phantom Menace (I must confess that I fast-forwarded through a lot of Jar-Jar Binks) plus 1/2 of Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
• Went to bed
• Comforted beagle, who was quite distraught that Monique had not yet returned.

Um, and it turns out that that may have been my big-accomplishment day. Today did, however, bear some resemblance:

Sunday

• Slept in
• Read some of the Sunday paper
• Listened to "The Puzzler" on NPR Weekend Edition
• Ate brunch on the porch (fried egg sandwiches on English muffins, and some cantelope)
• Read a bit more of the paper
• Watched some of the Sunday-morning talking heads
• Took Katie the Beagle for a long walk
• Ate some watermelon
• Watered the potted plants
• Returned the neighbor's goldfish
• Watched the Tigers play the Astros
• Lay in the hammock and read some more comic books
• Cleaned the kitchen
• Made a pizza pie (today's ingredients: artichoke hearts, eggplant, mushrooms, yellow bell pepper, onion, salami)
• Ate some pizza pie
• Watched the rest of Attack of the Clones.

Um, and that was pretty much it. Even I am astonished at how little I managed to do this weekend. It was mostly just 48 hours of me and the dog, hangin' out on a beautiful weekend on the lake. I wasn't even ambitious enough to go fishing, which may be the most pathetic thing I've ever written in this blog.

If you paid $10 for tickets to this movie, you should demand a refund. I guess a skilled screenwriter might do something with "returned the neighbor's goldfish" but I have a hard time seeing more than a brief Saturday Night Live skit coming out of that item. It hardly feels like a full-length feature film.

And, speaking of feature films, I've got Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith fired up and ready to go. Gosh, I hope it ends well for Anikan and Padmé. They seem like such a nice couple, I'm sure it'll turn out all right.