Thursday, February 11, 2010

Of Viking Frogmen, Internet Giants, and Radioactive Lizards

As usual, the trouble started with an interesting little news tidbit:

From: Kardos, Tim
Subject: How to greet Google

Viking frogmen chase Street View spymobile:
Google enjoys a traditional Norwegian welcome.

Check out the photos, they're worth the click.

... then resident Patio Boat NFL-canine haikuist Mary Campbell-Droze saw the poetry inherent in the story:

From: Campbell-Droze, Mary
Subject: Kowtow: greet Google!

One cannot remain oblivious
To threats from fighters amphibious.
Should Google next try Japan
(We all assume that it can),
And deploy the Spy-Mobile---a
True battle: Google vs. Godzilla!!

Alas, one wee bite of doggerel inevitably led to tragedy:

From: Magee, John
Subject: RE: Kowtow: greet Google! (And crush it beneath your giant reptilian feet)

Norwegian frogmen spear guns fire,
Huge lizards prefer high-voltage wire.
Godzilla is, as we know,
An electro-phile. So he’ll go
To server farms where he will romp,
On Google’s chips he’ll gladly stomp,
Computers crushed into the ground,
Metallic screeches all around.
This scene the Google van will spy,
“We’re now offline!” execs will cry!
The lesson here my friends is true.
When Google spies it sees into
The deepest darkest dreams of poet:
A Godzilla-fest, you had to know it.

P.S. When it comes to radioactive breath
Katie the Beagle’s is more like death.

Rest assured, we're all properly ashamed of ourselves. On behalf of the Patio Boat, I'd like to offer our sincerest apology to Google, most of Silicon Valley, Toho Films, radioactive Japanese reptiles, Barry's Temple of Godzilla, and most especially to Viking frogmen around the world.

We're sorry.

(Drag the image slightly, so that you can see our inspirational friends to the left!)

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  1. Tip o' the Patio Boat Captain's hat to Arsen Darnay, for pointing us to the embedded Google Map street view above.

  2. The free flowing creative powers of the old FBN are truly amazing. And very entertaining.


  3. Did you know? If you manipulate that image enough--but perhaps only in the "larger view"-- you can actually find the two frogmen chasing the photographer? I discovered that almost by accident--and Google may be unaware of the fact.

  4. If all epic poetry out there was as evocative as this, I think in ten years' time the Dwarf Planet will have to do a piece on a totally extinct species : the woman reader of Godzilla poetry and beagle-breath haiku.