Friday, February 12, 2010

In Which We Continue Our Musings On the Googling of Finns

Yes, gentle reader. I fear we have more shenanigans to report from the front lines of Google Earth's attempt to give us all a street-level view of Finland. The trouble has moved beyond Viking frogmen.

From: Tim Kardos
Subject: Re: The Dangers of Google Earth

And, just so you know the Viking frogmen have something to gripe about, here's another spot of privacy invasion.

Street View catches Finn with his pants down
Authorities investigate privacy cock-up

(Yes, I'm afraid I'm going to once again recommend you follow the link to see the pictures. I apologize in advance to this now-famous Finnish nude dude.)

Needless to say, appalling poetry followed:

From: Campbell-Droze, Mary

Endangled Girth: Endowment Spied

Although it is an unusual pose,
We should have the right to expose
Various parts in our own places
Without showing up in public spaces.
I can't imagine what he was doing,
That Google offered up for viewing---
But since Finns rarely see the sun,
(The source for any growing done)
It could be he hoped to grow
Something bigger down below.

From: John Magee

What I would have preferred to see was a bit more Finnish propriety

Sunbathing Finns with naked shins,
And nudie knees out in the breeze,
Get a surprise when Google spies
The pale skin of a naked Finn.

Please, don't arise! We see your thighs!
And more we fear. (We shan't zoom near.)
A Lapland tan is rare to scan.

The Finnish winter is long and bitter,
So sun it's true, might lure us too,
But, the world you greeted. No! Please. Stay. Seated.

And thus we close this spot of prose
With this advice, please read it twice.
It's no surprise. Should again arise

On behalf of the Patio Boat blog, I would like to apologize to denuded Danes, naked Norwegians, sunbathing Swedes, full-frontal Finns, and most especially -- yet again -- to you, gentle reader.

We've very, very sorry. Really.

P.S. A rebuttal from MC-D favoring ... well, I guess her rebuttal favors more bare butts.

Since the 'net is rife with shots
Of women with uncovered spots,
Gals cheer the chance to see some gents
Sans any type of men's garments.
It's only right; it's only fair
For the GUYS to now be bare!
But though our Finn lacks underwears,
I deplore his full-on unawares.

--Mary Campbell-Droze


  1. Keep the poetry coming.
    You two are terrific!
    But, I must say that I find the sources of your inspiration of late... rather... interesing.

    Poor Finnish guy, looks like he was in his own back yard.

  2. It's all part of the February Sweeps Month rating drive. I mean, if you can't boost your ratings with naked-Finn doggerel, what has the Internet come to?

    Stay tuned next week when we *might* post a sonnet involving hot Swedish stewardesses, or maybe a sestina on naked Tiger Woods' mistresses.

    Or haiku about Katie the Beagle.

  3. Premature outrage by Finnish authorities and churlish mockery of the "naked-Finn" here are all wrong! Perhaps a forgivable misunderstanding of a rather thoughtful motive, I feel.
    Ask yourself: might this pantless Finn have been simply recycling some bodily fluids for use in his garden and to benefit our environment? What else could be the purpose of the bucket before him in picture No2?