Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Facebook version of my continued rant about the Menifee USD pulling dictionaries out of classrooms

As Arsen put it in one Facebook comment about my ranting, "Hell hath no fury like a reference publisher scorned!"

I'm pretty sure the several posts I put up on this in Facebook generated more comments than anything else I've posted in ages. I'll leave the others' comments there, but here, gentle reader, is the fruit of my scorned fury:

5:35 pm Tuesday -- I've seen "Idiocracy", but I thought it was a documentary. I'd look it up in the dictionary, but somebody might be offended.

6:29 pm Tuesday -- This is why I don't write much satire any more. It used to be that when I made up stuff this dumb, it wasn't true!

8:00 pm Tuesday -- I'm reminded of "A Christmas Story" when Ralphie blames his knowledge of all the bad words he heard from his father on his friend "Schwartz". In the modern version, I suppose he'd say he came across them while perusing the dictionary.

8:06 pm Tuesday -- I have no idea why I just put quotemarks around Schwartz's name. I would look up the usage rules in my copy of Strunk & White, but I just threw that out because it contained the word "gratuitous," which sounded like it might be kinda dirty.

7:58 pm Tuesday (re: my misspelling of Menifee as Menifree) -- Yeah, "Menifee". I would haved checked the spelling ... if I'd had a freaking dictionary.

8:08 pm Tuesday -- You're wondering what happened to the big Merriam-Webster's Geographical Dictionary I keep at my desk? I chucked it because it contained the place name "Sodom."

Better safe than sorry. I can now go about my business, pure and ignorant.

10:50 am today -- You can have my dictionary when you can pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

10:55 am today -- I'm mostly done ranting about the Menifee school district. However, I did want to note that Monique pointed out that the "offensive" dictionaries they pulled were the edition published in 1994, which means that they've been corrupting little children in that community for more than a decade.

Forrest Gump was right: "Stupid is as stupid does."

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