Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Pathos of the Final Chapter of the Fish Finder Saga

I shan't go into the earlier chapters, in which I bought a 1/2-price demo unit fish finder to stick on the ol' Stealth Pontoon as a replacement for the old fish-finder, whose LED screen had died. That part of the tale includes a sad subplot about two missing tiny little plastic pieces that are absolutely vital to the installation and must cost all of about 1/10th of a cent apiece.

Instead, let's forward to the final chapter, which came after I had returned the demo model and invested my coin in a genuine new fish finder. Added bonus: whereas in the old days you had to gather up your buddies to look over your shoulder and kibbitz, thanks to the miracle of Facebook your friends can mock your mechanical ineptitude on the Internet:

John Magee is still having troubles with his fish-finder installation. Its power is hooked up. Its sonar transponder is hooked up. So why won't it go on when I press the "Power" button? Sigh.

Jeff DeLamielleure - red is positive, black is negative...

Raymond Brace - I've only got 2 hands when it comes to fishing. One for the crossword puzzle, one for the cocktail. The gear is just to make it look good.

Jon C. Hopwood - Either jab the button, or do a thumb roll that spreads the pressure around delicately. These are the two 2 tricks I have for this old Gateway laptop! The only other option, when it fails 2 boot, is praying.

Raymond Brace - Have you checked the polyhierarchical indexing yet?

Gary Alampi - how about fuses? I had a blown fuse on my boat radio. I almost bought a new one before finding out.

Winston Fritz - Either ur not getting power, bad fuse, bad ground or faulty unit

Raymond Brace - Monique, would you please confirm or deny that John has a faulty unit?

John Magee - And the winner of the "The electrical engineer who provided the condescending but correct diagnosis" award is .... Mr. Jeff DeLamielleure!

C'mon down and accept the prize, Jeff! It's a dunce cap that you get to stick on my head.

Yeah, that's right. I had the little red wire and the little black wire on the wrong screws. Criminy, I ain't bright.

Mike Gangler - Real Fishermen dont use Fish Finders...., Hell, im just jealous

Jon C. Hopwood - Oh, I thought it might have something to do with too many cocktails.

John Magee - Mind you, I didn't figure out that I had the red and black reversed right off the bat. First I went and bought some new fuses, and installed a new fuse. Then I unhooked the wires, restripped them, and mounted them again ... STILL IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.

Then I took the receiver down to Gander Mountain, and plugged it into the cord of their demo unit to test to test whether the receiver was working. When the receiver worked perfectly, I cleverly deduced that the power cord was somehow broken, and bought another fish finder -- so that I'd have a working transponder and power cord. Then I pulled out the new transponder and prepared to remove the "broken" one.

Only then did I look at the bus bar and realize that I had put the red wire on the negative panel and the black wire on the positive panel.

In my defense, I am an idiot.


  1. All I can say is that, as I knew all along, the unit is not faulty...

  2. It sounds to me, John, that after these experiences you are finally qualified in giving BP and Obama useful advice on how to cap that fish-obscuring oil leak down there.

  3. Monique, always the loyal wife. Of course this is not a "faulty unit".