Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Caution: The Most Disturbing Limerick Thread of All Time

The trouble started with the usual cast of characters and an e-mailed link to some weird (and in this case truly disturbing) news:

From: Tim Kardos
Subject: What rhymes with todger? 

Chinese bloke gets eel lodged up todger: 
Anguilline exfoliation treatment ends in 'severe pain'

From: John Magee

Aaaaagh!!!!! This isn't limerick-able.  It's really more suited for some sort of horrible horror movie.

The horror. The horror.

From: Mary Campbell-Droze

So far I have a title: The Artful Dodger Todger Lodger.  And it sounds like Mugs would prefer that's as far as I get.

From: Tim Kardos

A word for todger that rhymes
Would help in composing these lines
About a Chinaman's penis
And a bath with some eelies
Thank god they didn't have spines

From: Mary Campbell-Droze

The lesson we learned from this farce:
Take care if your clothing's too sparse.
Whether eel-filled lakes
Or in public---Pete sakes!---
Just be sure to cover your arse.

From: John Magee

The eel in the Chinaman's todger
Was quite an unwelcome guest lodger.
It swam up the urethra
Which you'd usually peethra,
To which I say, "AAAAAGGGH! AAAAAGGGH! AAAAAGGGH! Don't tell me any more! Dear God, please make it stop!"


  1. When you-all get a good deal older, you might meet a doctor like my own Dr. George, who keeps a mechanical eel of sorts he uses for looking at the bladder, and never fails to say, "Just relax, just relax. It'll soon be over."

  2. Ahem: "AAAAAGGGH! AAAAAGGGH! AAAAAGGGH! Don't tell me any more! Dear God, please make it stop!"

  3. There once was an English astrolger,
    With an eel lodged in his todger.
    Said his missus, in bed,
    "Cor! I'll cut off yer 'ead
    Next time you fuzzy that fishmonger!"

  4. Thanks, Hoppy. Yet more evidence that this is a deeply disturbing limerick thread!

  5. Mercifully, Dear God, heard and answered your plea, John!