Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Peru's Extremely Depressing National Anthem

When I stepped out of the shower this morning, I happened to catch the very end of a radio story that said Peru was thinking about changing its national anthem because it's too depressing.

I didn't happen to catch any of the depressing lyrics, so that provided a morning's worth of amusement for Monique and I as we tried to imagine the lyrics of Peru's very depressing national anthem. I imagine something like this:

We Are Peru

O, we are Peru.
We're not as good as you.,
Or even Argentiiiiina!

We all smell like glue,
And guano it is true,
And our national dish is raw fish
Pickled in lemon juice. Eeeew!

Brazil has lots of babes,
And Chile makes great wine,
But all we have are spitting llamas.
(And they're not very nice. Ugh!)

Our land is mostly high desert,
Without much oxygen,
And many of our bauxite mines
Are all mined out. Sigh.

O, we are Peru.
We're not as good as you.
And we're too depressed
To sing this anthem any more.

P.S. Okay, so I got curious enough to go look up the actual lyrics on Wikipedia. Good heavens, my version is full of rose petals and fluffy puppies by comparison:

For a long time the opressed Peruvian
the ominous chain he dragged
Condemned to a cruel servitude
for a long time, for a long time
for a long time he quietly whimpered...


  1. I can hardly wait until the Republic of Magee is finally founded and (drum-beat) unveils its national anthem. It will be the first of ANY that will feature that missing ingredient in currently all: humor.

  2. Oh, I'm sure it will, Susan.

    In fact, this morning John was telling me what he envisions might be on our family coat of arms. Two things I recall him mentioning were a pontoon boat and a beagle...

    Musing about a coat of arms was triggered by yet another radio piece on the royal wedding...

  3. Technically, I believe I recommended the head of a beagle on the body of a chicken, in honor of Katie the Beagle's utter cowardice with regard to thunderstorms.

  4. Cady says fear of thunderstorms is simple canine common sense.

  5. Do we have to learn that national anthem since we're going to Peru in October?

  6. I wanted to "Facebook Like" Mom's "Cady says fear of thunderstorms is simple canine common sense."