Complicated (Beagle) Thoughts

And now the beagle haiku in which Katie the Beagle expresses her subtle, delicate, and complex thoughts regarding the small bunny rabbit who has taken to occasionally nibbling the grass in our yard:

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

Kill!! Kill!! Kill!! Kill!! Kill!! Kill!! Kill!! 

Kill!!! Kill!!! Kill!!! Kill!!! Kill!!! 

The Wolverine Lake Beagle Haiku Appreciation Society hopes you've enjoyed today's look at the complicated nuances that comprise one small beagle's relationship with a nearby rabbit.

The beagle haiku in which Katie the Beagle does her best to deal with a very chaotic summer that has put quite a crimp in her planned schedule of naps, walks, dinner, and staring adoringly at Monique.

Moving? Hammering?
The beagle's rut is disturbed!
More visitors? Sigh.

Expanding our beagle-haiku mandate to include beagle accessories

Binkie and Pinkie:
Katie's old squeaky toys that
She treats like puppies.

The beagle's binkies,
Rescued like Katie herself,
Now part of the pack.

The Beagle Has Important Business to Conduct on the Frozen Midnight Snow

Midnight, four degrees.
Katie wants out. To piddle?
No. She smells rabbit!

Bah, humbeagle!

Holiday hubbub
Disturbs the beagle's deep rut.
January! Ahhh.

The best way to spend rainy days in the summertime

Rainy work at home.
Katie the Beagle helps me
By sleeping on couch.

The Loyal Beagle Shares the Work

Today we celebrate in beagle haiku the above-and-beyond-the-call-of-canine-duty efforts of Katie the Beagle on behalf of Editorial Code & Data Inc.  Katie has loyally been hard at work, lying on the guest bed and staring adoringly at Monique every day, all day -- often late into the night -- as Monique has worked like a madwoman for the last six months to get Market Share Reporter: Trends Over Time out the door and off to press on time.

Katie's contributions towards this project were so large and substantial that they just couldn't be captured in a single seventeen-syllable haiku.  Thus we at the Patio Boat present a double-haiku poem to commemorate her contributions:


The Loyal Beagle Shares the Work

Katie the Beagle
Wants to chase rabbits. But she
Watches Monique type.

The walk comes at two
In the afternoon. Joy! Joy!
Then back to work.
Sigh.


As for Monique's work on this project, it would take a Norse saga twice the size of the Edda to capture all that has been accomplished and overcome.  If you see her anytime soon, please congratulate her on getting this fabulous book off to press on time and surviving the experience.

I shall simply say for now, "Well done! And welcome back!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled beagle haiku, already in progress.

The loyal beagle,
Curled up next to Monique,
Dreaming of rabbits.

Frankly, It's Beyond Swiffering

Retrospect: the new
Hardwood flooring shoulda been
Beagle-hair colored

Colts Haiku, Week 10

In which the Colts' 0-10 record drives our intrepid Indianapolis Colts haiku correspondent around the bend.  She goes happily, skipping sweetly, her blonde pigtails dancing erratically behind her like a Curtis Painter third-down pass....


Vultures Don't Sing, And Those Look Like Weeds To Me

Hark, the birds sing so
Sweetly this time of year! Oh,
Look! Flowers! Flowers!

--Mary Campbell-Droze

Colts Haiku, Week 9

In which the ongoing disgrace of the winless Colts has led our grief-stricken haiku correspondent to turn her attentions to the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers and the quarterback of the New York Giants.  I can see her problem.  At least we Lions fans had Matt Millen to hold responsible for our ignominy.

Meanwhile, Kaylee the Granddaughter and Katie the Beagle are nowhere to be seen, having long since fled the scene for pursuits less stinky than the Colts, like filling dirty diapers and rolling in goose poop.


Delegated Gratification As Demonstrated By An Ex-Colt And A Sibling

Captain Comeback and
Baby Brudder: this season's
Only source of cheer.

--Mary Campbell-Droze

Indianapolis Colts Haiku: Week 7

In which our intrepid haiku sports reporter discovers that neither Katie the Beagle nor her granddaughter Kaylee want to appear in a haiku for a team this stinky*, and so she finds a Colts mascot more appropriate to their disastrous season:

The Godzilla Assessment Factor in Football Exploits (GAFFE)

Dudes in rubber mon-
ster suits are more convincing.
C'mon, Colts! REALLY??

--Mary Campbell-Droze


*Katie the Beagle did, however, offer to roll in the 2011 Indianapolis Colts, an honor she reserves for only the most stench-worthy of stinkers.

Colts 2011 Haiku, Week 6, in which our intrepid poet starts to capture the spirit of their winless start to the season

Back from haiku hiatus. This week's offering is accompanied by the evocative intonations of Fleshgod Apocalypse: "The Imposition" from their latest album, 'Agony.'

GRRRRRRRRRCOLTSSUCK!COLTSSUCK!
GAAAAAAAAATHEYREALLYREALLYSUCK!
DOOOOOOOOMFORANDREWLUUUUUUCK!

 --Mary Campbell-Droze

 

Colts 2011 Haiku, Week 5, in which I make that case that "Coltish" may soon replace "Lionesque" as the preferred NFL term for "hopeless ineptitude."

Mary Campbell-Droze has been excused from her haiku duties this week, and so I have come off the bench and taken on the task in her absence.  I can neither confirm nor deny the rumors that she is away at Stanford practices, scouting potential #1 2012 draft pick QB Andrew Luck.

Colts 2011, Week 5

Colts now oh-and-five.
Vague signs of life from Painter.
Kaylee, Katie: "Yawn."

--John Magee

MC-D Eschews the Haiku Format in Week 4. (Just like the Colts eschew wins.)

Due to recent complaints by the establishment that Colts content has been lacking, I will make up for it in one fell swoop.  I give you the Anti-Haiku: the '70s lyric.

A Painter-ly Paean
[sung to the tune of that song by America]

Well you tried to win it Monday
But once again you clenched
So you sigh and look to Sunday
Was it better on the bench?
You're not ready to be Peyton
But instead you'll have to do
Since we all agree: this season will be poo

Well we got so hopeful for you
Mister Golden Hair---surprised?
And we'd be much worse without you
(You're not Sorgi in disguise!)
We've got a fairly decent Defense
But a crap Offensive line
And this likely won't be remedied in time

Do we need to go no-huddle?
Well you bet your derrière!
Rise above this friggin' muddle
Just show us you've got a pair!
We can't duck it---
We're Indy fans; we don't say "Chuck it"

Next up: an ode to Kerry Collins, "Suite: Kerry Blue Eyes" (or "Cross-Eyes" if the poor dear is still concussed).

--Mary Campbell-Droze

MC-D's Indianapolis Colts Haiku, Week 3

D and Addai: Indy's Dynamic Dyad; Kaylee Becomes a Cowabunga Keiki 

Colts look better!
Kate Agrees. The grands take Kaylee
On her first beach trip.

--Mary Campbell-Droze

At this point I would be remiss if I didn't note that the quantity of Indianapolis Colts content in the haikus themself seems to be falling in direct inverse proportion to the number of losses they are piling up.  (On the bright side for Mary, Peyton looked good up in the press box last night.  At least he wasn't wearing a cervical collar!)

Colts/Katie/Kaylee Update, Week 2, in which MC-D's pain continues...

Hark! Hark! The Colts Do Yark! 

Colts get dog-bit. Ra- bies?
Kate sez, "Not me!" (Kaylee
drools, but is teething.)

-- Mary Campbell-Droze

NFL Week 1 Beagles, Colts, n' Grandaughters Haiku Report

Pondering the Post-Peyton Playbook and Performance Pithily, or, PPPPPPTH

Dear Kate: Colts ain't great.

But Captain Comeback's Niners

Win! Kaylee says, "FUB!"*

* "Football" is currently a single-syllable word within the 14-month-old demographic

--Mary Campbell-Droze

Back to our core competency...

... beagle haiku written by other people and provided to this site for the revolutionary new price of "free". In this case, we have an outstanding contribution from Arsen Darnay, who shared the beagle-watching duties while Monique was off in Wyoming preparing for the arrival of our new niece:


While Amelia
Was late, Katie chased rabbits
In rainy Grosse Pointe.

--Arsen Darnay

The Easter Beagle

Katie the Beagle
Enjoyed a walk, ham, egg, ham.
More ham. Now she snores.