Peru's Extremely Depressing National Anthem

When I stepped out of the shower this morning, I happened to catch the very end of a radio story that said Peru was thinking about changing its national anthem because it's too depressing.

I didn't happen to catch any of the depressing lyrics, so that provided a morning's worth of amusement for Monique and I as we tried to imagine the lyrics of Peru's very depressing national anthem. I imagine something like this:


We Are Peru

O, we are Peru.
We're not as good as you.,
Or even Argentiiiiina!

We all smell like glue,
And guano it is true,
And our national dish is raw fish
Pickled in lemon juice. Eeeew!

Brazil has lots of babes,
And Chile makes great wine,
But all we have are spitting llamas.
(And they're not very nice. Ugh!)

Our land is mostly high desert,
Without much oxygen,
And many of our bauxite mines
Are all mined out. Sigh.

O, we are Peru.
We're not as good as you.
And we're too depressed
To sing this anthem any more.


P.S. Okay, so I got curious enough to go look up the actual lyrics on Wikipedia. Good heavens, my version is full of rose petals and fluffy puppies by comparison:

For a long time the oppressed Peruvian
the ominous chain he dragged
Condemned to a cruel servitude
for a long time, for a long time
for a long time he quietly whimpered...