More High-Falutin' Poetry Analysis

Just thought I'd share a recent e-mail chain among friends that uncovered some deep thoughts regarding poetry and current events:


From: Campbell-Droze, Mary
Subject: The Poetry Koan-er meets the Zen Masters

Surprise! Buddhist monks write a lot of stuff I wouldn't expect they would. One dreams about a very specific attribute of his sweetheart, another flings cusswords at a crow that would make a 20-year Marine proud, and one likens the air to elephant flatulence.

Some of the pieces hew more to what I anticipated:

I'm trying to tell you something I can't say
Like eating mist or chopping your shadow in half

but you never know what to expect from guys who simultaneously write about insight and picking their noses.

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From: Magee, John

They're simultaneously writing about insight and picking their noses?

Are you sure you haven’t accidentally picked up a volume of Vogon poetry?

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From: Campbell-Droze, Mary

Good grief, where's my TOWEL???

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From: Kardos, Tim

Okay, Zen master, here’s some fodder for you:

NZ gal's Bulgarian airbags halt traffic:
Flashes jubs, gets run over

By Lester Haines

A New Zealand teenager whose mates dared her to flash her chesticles at passing motorists brought traffic to a standstill when an appreciative driver ran her over, the Southland Times reports.

Cherelle May Dudfield, 18, stood in the middle of an Invercargill road with her assets exposed on 27 September. This turned out to be ill-advised, and despite her attempts to evade an oncoming vehicle, she "rolled over the bonnet, cracking the windscreen".

An uninjured Dudfield earned herself an appearance before Invercargill District Court on a disorderly behaviour rap, where she pleaded guilty to improper use of Bulgarian airbags.

Duty solicitor John Fraser suggested the driver involved could have been a little more careful, but conceded he may have been "distracted".

Judge David Holderness said Dudfield was lucky the consequences weren't more serious and slapped her with a NZ$275 fine.

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From: Magee, John

Oh, there’s at least a limerick in that incident

Now let’s see, what rhymes with “Bulgarian airbags?”

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From: Campbell-Droze, Mary

Airhead Bagged

Dugs-field fell, was fined.
No noses were picked, and no
Elephants fahrted.

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From: Magee, John

Oh sure, it makes a fine haiku. But I think you can see my problem here:

A young lady from Southland, New Zealand,
Thought she could improve traffic’s wheelin’
By standing in streets
And exposing her teats
Until one driver lost control and hit her in her Bulgarian airbags.

It just doesn’t quite scan.

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From: Kardos, Tim

Close enough!