The Form Must Fit the Canine

So, why no haiku
For Cady the Terrible?
Scan "Mass Destruction!"

My Mom wanted to know why there aren't any haiku for her dog, Cady. The obvious answer is that this is the Internet's #1 site for "beagle haiku" not "black lab haiku." The nearly as obvious other answer is that we rely heavily on the haiku writings of others in these parts, and my Mom apparently can't be bothered to write any Cady haiku.

But Cady the Terrible may just be better suited for one of those long Icelandic sagas about Ragnarok. It could be one of those "historic fragments" in which the climactic section covering the Final Battle of the Gods and Frost Giants is lost for all time because it was eaten by a dog.

Or perhaps a week with Cady would best be captured in a Greek epic in which instead of tormenting Odysseus with a ten-yeear journey of pain and desolation, the Gods instead test him by letting a black lab eat all of his shoes.

Whatever the form, I'm sure there's a poetic form out there somewhere that suits Cady. It's probably not haiku, though. Check it out: Rag-nar-ok ap-proach-eth ... see, six syllables. Haiku simply doesn't suit her paradigm.