Just taking a moment to prove that although I may be the most beagle-centric poet working in America today, I am not the worst. This quick e-mail conversation was started by the sharp-eyed Mary Campbell-Droze, who came across a rather curious start to a poem in the course of her indexing for LitFinder....
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From: Campbell-Droze, Mary
Subject: LintFinder Poetry Winner: Worst Opening Line Ever
The feet are the lips of the body.
Even if this made any sense, literally or figuratively, do we really want it to?
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From: Magee, John
Subject: RE: LintFinder Poetry Winner: Worst Opening Line Ever
What really surprises me is that we still include Foot-Fetishist Quarterly in LitFinder.
I would’ve thought customers would be standing in line to demand we give it the boot and kick it out of the product.
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From: Campbell-Droze, Mary
Subject: LintFinder Poetry Winner: Worst Opining Ever
And if the feet are the lips of the body, that'll leave the cosmetics industry standing on its ear.
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From: Magee, John
Subject: RE: LintFinder Poetry Winner: Worst Opining Ever
Pick your reply:
1) Sounds like you’re kissing another manufacturing sector goodbye.
2) We all look forward to Estee Lauder’s new line of toenail fungicides.
3) … and I really don’t want to know where the ears of the body are located.
Oh, John and Mary, you two kill me.
ReplyDeleteI pick (1) becuase, well, you know, I just have a soft spot for the manufacturing sector.